A series of unfortunate events always precedes this downward spiral into ghetto wine vagrancy. It doesn't rely on cheap gimmicks like adding electric-colored dyes to sell because nobody accidentally stumbles upon T-Bird. (See, swirl, sniff, sip, and savor this bounty after the jump) Appearance: Thunderbird is a clear, pale yellow wine that appears fairly innocuous at first glance. Chances are if you're consuming this on a regular basis, you probably have a helluva lot more problems than the color of your tongue. Written in an age when jive was still relevant and sixty cents could buy you a tankard of rot gut, the jingle is the best thing about this "American Classic." T-bird also has the distinction of being the only ghetto wine that will turn your tongue blacker than a giraffe's with regular consumption. What's the jive? Bird's alive! What's the price? Thirty twice. What's the word? Thunderbird! How's it sold? Good and Cold. A catchy little radio jingle was even crafted to honor this tough old bird: Along with its sister-in-crime, Night Train Express, Thunderbird was first manufactured by E & J Gallo in the wake of prohibition to cater to an underserved "urban" demographic. It makes Boone's Farm look like bubble gum pop and that firewater Wild Irish Rose seem like watered-down table wine. Thunderbird is truly the very Bottom of the Barrel, even in terms of low-end fortified wine. To help you decide how to spend that meager pile of pennies, we've scraped the Bottom of the Barrel to review some of the cheapest, most face-planting, getcha drunk wines on the market. Anyone who has searched the couch cushions for a handful of change knows that boozing on an extreme budget can be a risky proposition.
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